


wonder of

by Withpetals_withblood



Series: despite the odds [4]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Fluff, Light Smut, Love Confessions, M/M, it's pretty cute for them honestly, they go on a date, this is a fluffy one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-22 00:59:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9574883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Withpetals_withblood/pseuds/Withpetals_withblood
Summary: Ronan can't process a damn thing. They brought Cabeswater back with their bodies and blood. Adam said something Ronan can't shake. They're powerful and alive and reckless. Opal's mad, but that's nothing new. The witches should probably be informed. Ronan should probably go to confession.Ronan needs to say it. He hopes Adam says it back.





	

Ronan stood under a spray of scalding hot water. He watched pink ribbons cloud the tub under his feet. His skin was clean of blood and come and sweat, but he couldn't stop thinking about moments prior. About Adam stretched out beneath him, hands loose above his head, mouth open, come striped across his bloody stomach. He saw his lips round the words _loving you_ again and again and again.

Cabeswater was tickling his insides, telling him to get in the car with the Magician and drive. 

He hadn't known what to say. He simply looked down at Adam, who continued to watch him, inhaling breath after breath, and then leaned down to kiss him. After that, he retreated to the shower to sort through his thoughts, to calm his beating heart, to try to make sense of things. It was as close to I love you as Ronan had ever came. It might be as close as he would ever get.

The bathroom door opened. Ronan heard Adam's footsteps. The curtain pulled back, but Ronan kept staring at the pink water by his feet. Adam stepped in behind him and blocked the water. A minute went by before Ronan felt the press of Adam's lips on the top of his spine.

The water darkened. It turned the reddest red, fading in and out between pink and maroon as Adam tipped his head back or rolled his shoulders or leaned forward.

Adam's hands rested on Ronan's waist before they came around his middle. "That was a lot," Adam said.

"We woke it up." Ronan glanced over his shoulder. Adam's forehead was pressed between his shoulders. He ran the tip of his nose along the lines of black ink etched into Ronan's skin.

"Yeah, we did." Adam sounded lost or disappointed. 

Ronan turned around. Their noses bumped. Adam scooted back until they were both under the water again. There was a moment of stillness then - between the writhing going on inside them, and the question lingering somewhere underneath their situation. Adam had used the word love. They'd conjured their power and tasted each others blood. It almost seemed too intimate, too dark, too visceral. Too unreal.

"Am I dreaming?" Ronan asked, regretting it as soon as the question rolled off his tongue.

Adam shook his head. His hand wrapped around the nape of Ronan's neck and he pulled, sliding their lips together. "No," Adam said. He kissed Ronan again, harder, messier. "I thought you knew when you were awake and when you were asleep?"

You just told me you loved me.

"We just drank each others blood and fucked Cabeswater back into existence." 

"You have a point." Adam laughed on the end, his grin pliant and real. "Are you all right?"

Ronan nodded. He thumbed at Adam's hipbone. "Are you?"

"Yes. Better than - I don't know. I'm good, though. I'm all right." Adam's fingers shook. His mouth opened and closed, his pupils wavered, vibrating inside lakes of dark blue. "I feel like I've had a collar on and someone just took it off me."

That was a good way to put it. Ronan felt like he could run all the way to Nino's from here. He felt like he could dream up an entire world - an entire galaxy. 

Adam traced his cheek with one hand. Ronan studied him, the part of his lips, the slow draw of Adam's breath, as if he was gearing up to say something. He never did. The breath left him quietly, cool on Ronan's mouth. 

"Have you seen the new elk?" Ronan asked.

Adam shook his head. "No, not yet."

They washed off. Ronan was gentle with the cut on Adam's collarbone. Adam scraped soapy nails over Ronan's scalp. It was quiet and slow, a stark contrast to the rest of their morning. After, they dressed and went downstairs. Ronan glared at Opal and she glared back, but he poured her a bowl of cereal and scooted it across the table at her. She bellowed at him like a boar or a stag would, still angry. He sneered at her and arched a brow. 

_It's back._ He said in Latin.

_I know that, Greywaren. You used black magic._

_We used what we had._

_You invite more masks._

Ronan's jaw tightened. "Do you want food or not?"

Adam munched on a piece of toast, trying to keep up with the conversation.

Opal's small mouth pressed down. She took the bowl and walked onto the porch.

"She thinks we'll bring more demons," Adam said matter-of-factly.

Ronan nodded. He took a sip of his coffee and tilted his head. "What do you think?"

"I think if they show up we'll kill them like we did the last one."

"I almost died during that whole fucking fiasco, remember?"

"I almost crushed your windpipe. Yeah, I remember."

"Don't give yourself that much credit, Parrish."

Adam snorted defiantly. They drank their coffee, ate their toast with jam, and walked outside. Opal eyed them as she stuffed a spoon full of milk and cereal in her mouth. She growled at Ronan. 

"Jesus God, Opal. Enough. I get it," Ronan said, exasperated.

Opal huffed, but the sour look on her face dissipated. 

They headed toward the outskirts of the Barns. Sunlight cut through cloud cover, sending beams of gold and honey over the top of the barns, turning the grass gold and brassy. Chainsaw swooped down and nipped at Ronan's shoulder. A few owls, white and cream colored, slept in the shade of the barn windows. At the tree line, Ronan saw the oil black jut of horns against the brush.

"There they are," he said. He rubbed his index finger against his thumb. The elk stepped over knotted roots and over bushes, emerging like ghosts.

Adam gave a breathy laugh. "Look at that," he whispered reverently. The male dipped his head at Adam. Wild, jagged horns spread like branches from his skull, the blackest black against his snow white pelt. The female walked to Ronan, nudging her snout against the top of his hand. 

It was afternoon. The Barns hummed with creatures and light and magic. Ronan looked at Adam, at his hands as they stroked under the elks chin, at his loose smile and relaxed shoulders. He thought of the night of his eighteenth birthday, when he'd been brave enough to kiss Adam for the first time. He swallowed, trying to find where that courage was buried now.

"I love you," Ronan said. "I've loved you for a long time." The evenness of his voice betrayed the clatter in his chest. "And I don't know how I'm supposed to be with someone else after loving you either."

Adam smile deepened. He kept looking at the elk, stroking his chin and snout, until his gaze slid to Ronan. The elk bumped his nose against Adam's hand, asking for more attention. Adam patted his head. "So you heard me after all," Adam said.

Ronan nodded. "I thought maybe it was the magic."

"It's always been the magic." Adam stepped closer to him, reaching out to drag his palm across the female's back. "It was the magic when we were friends, it was the magic when I made the deal with Cabeswater, when I started to wonder of you."

Ronan played Adam's voice in his head again and again. Wonder of you. Wonder of you. Wonder of you.

Adam hooked his index finger through Ronan's belt loop. "But it's not the magic that made me love you. You did that on your own, the magic just let me see it clearly." 

"When?" Ronan asked. He had to know. 

"The night you didn't drive away. The rent." Adam set his hands on Ronan's waist. He swallowed, like secrets were burning in his mouth. "When I would catch you looking at me in Cabeswater." He paused, mouth open. Ronan watched him struggle to find what he wanted to say. Adam flushed and licked his lips. "When I started to wander into your dreams."

Ronan's chest caved in.

"I'm Cabeswater's eyes, Ronan. You think it never showed me?"

"How much did it show you?" Now it was Ronan who flushed. He thought of every dream where K had held him down. He thought of every dream where Adam choked him with his cock or Gansey sucked him off. When Ronan got in fights with his other self over who got to have who that night. The time he fucked K and it felt real, because K had been dreaming too, and maybe it had been. The time Adam let Ronan hold the back of his head against his groin, lips stretched wide, tears leaking from the corner of his eyes. How he'd looked up at Ronan, face splattered with come and said _fuck, that's good, babe_ and Ronan woke up sticky and crying. 

Adam shook his head. He reached for Ronan's chin, forcing his gaze when he looked away. "Not a lot, just enough to get me started in my own dreams, all right?"

"Get you started." Ronan laughed and backed up, because he could only imagine with that asshole of a forest had shown him. His back hit the wood panels of the smallest barn. "You know, people aren't supposed to see that shit. That was..." He chewed on his lip. "That was mine."

"Yeah, no shit. But I did. I saw you and me, and that's when I knew it wasn't just..."

"Just what?"

"Just a crush," Adam said. He barked a laugh. "You think I expected you, _you_ ," he pointed at Ronan, "to actually want me?"

"Well, surprise." Ronan looked at his boots. He heard Adam creep closer. "Did you ever... Was it always dream-you, or, fucking shit," Ronan squeezed his eyes shut. "Did the forest let you use your hands, too?"

Adam looked wounded. His expression dropped and he swallowed hard again. "Once," he said.

This time Ronan laughed hard. He laughed wickedly and painfully, because if he didn't, he might punch a hole through the barn or start crying. He was angry enough for violence or tears. 

"What'd you want me to do? I was there, you were there, it happened. It was -"

"You could've gotten in your shit-box, came to the factory, and fucked me for real. That's what you could've done."

"I didn't fuck you," Adam gritted. He crowded Ronan against the barn, his breath hot on Ronan's mouth. "We were by the stream. You'd been dreaming up your lightening bugs and we were just there, lying in the grass. You looked at me and told me you loved me."

Ronan remembered that dream. "You said it back."

"You kissed my knuckles and we just stayed there," Adam's eyes glazed, like he was remembering. "It felt like hours."

Ronan relaxed against the barn. He let Adam slide his hands under his shirt. Let him lean their foreheads together. 

"I love you," Adam sighed against Ronan's mouth. "I'm telling you now, while we're awake. And I meant that, Ronan. I don't know how I'll ever," he let Ronan kiss him once, "get over you. We're eighteen and I feel like this has been in the works since before we, shit, god that's weird."

"I pulled those elk out of my dreams. You can see into different realms. Gansey has a boyfriend _and_ a girlfriend. Nothing's weird anymore."

Adam laughed against his lips, relaxed and breathy.

Ronan felt like he weighed a thousand pounds. He felt like he could die, right then, and be okay with it. He felt like the world had shifted and tilted around him, like things made sense when they weren't supposed to. 

"Wanna go to Nino's tonight?" Adam pulled his hands from under Ronan's black tee and laced their fingers together. "Maybe see a movie."

"Oh, what, you over sex rituals and blood magic already, Magician?" 

Adam laughed again. Ronan loved the way it tasted.

"I figured we can balance it out with normal dates every now and then. And tomorrow, when I'm off work, we'll go to Cabeswater?"

Ronan nodded. The thought struck him hard, in a wave of embarrassed, light laughter that he wasn't sure he could even take credit for, he asked, "How're we going to explain this bullshit to our friends?"

Adam's brows furrowed, smile breaking into a grin. He shook his head back and forth. "I have no idea. We should consult the witches."

The elk wandered over to them. The male sniffed at the back of Adam's neck and the female prodded their conjoined hands with her nose. 

Ronan and Adam spent the afternoon with the animals. The got dressed and Ronan let Adam drive his car to Nino's, then to the movie theater, where they didn't watch the cheesy horror flick they'd paid to see. Instead, they made out for an hour and a half in the back row, taking breaks to sip on a slurpee. On their way home, Adam pulled over into the darkness and put the car in park. He turned the music up loud and climbed on top of Ronan in the passengers seat.

It was entirely normal until Cabeswater got involved. Then it was too hot and too much and too ignited. Ronan felt older than he'd ever been. He felt like he'd never been younger. The magic between them was violent and ancient. 

"Tell me you keep some of that dream lube in here," Adam said against his cheek.

"Never had a reason to," Ronan admitted. 

Adam groaned and dragged his teeth down Ronan's jaw, to his neck. "I even keep lube in my car, Lynch."

"I bet your piece of shit car would break if we tried to hook up in it, on it, in the near vicinity of it." Ronan felt across Adam's back, threaded his fingers through his hair.

They fumbled with each other's buttons and zippers. It was hands between legs and breath hot in each other's mouths. Adam licked his palm. Ronan did the same. He thought for the first time things felt normal. Ronan felt eighteen. He felt wanted and alive and made new.

And tomorrow they would go to a magical forest he dreamed when he was a kid, the same forest that died and came back, the one living inside the boy on top of him.

Adam's hips flexed. He kissed Ronan on the mouth, all teeth and tongue. 

When they got back to the Barns, Opal was asleep in the closest barn to the house. Adam and Ronan climbed up on the roof and Adam pointed out constellations. He pulled out his tarot deck and did a reading. He read Ronan's palm, but Ronan was barely listening to the details. He stayed busy watching Adam light up, watching his mouth move and listening to his accent slip between the cracks in his resolve. They ate leftover pizza at 1 in the morning, in socks and boxers and nothing else. When they went to bed, they curled close and Ronan was scared to fall asleep.

"You think Opal was right? That we'll get a demon infestation?" Adam rested his hand on Ronan's cheek.

Ronan shrugged. "Fuck if I know."

Adam stared at his neck. He pressed two fingers to Ronan's Adam's apple. 

"Will it make you feel better if I told you I liked it a little?" Ronan snorted a laugh.

Adam swatted him on the shoulder. "Don't do that," he mumbled. "That scared the shit out of me."

"Didn't scare me," Ronan said.

Adam eyed him.

Ronan didn't say anything. He took Adam's hand and wrapped it further around his own neck. "Go to sleep."

Adam's thumb drifted across his jaw.

They slept, and Ronan dreamed, but he didn't bring anything back with him. When he woke up, it was to Adam's mouth on his cheek. 

"See you when I'm off. You pickin' me up?" Adam waited for Ronan to tilt his head before he kissed him on the lips.

"Yeah," Ronan rasped. "Six?"

Adam nodded, kissed him again, and left. Ronan had some of the coffee Adam had made earlier. Opal crossed her arms over her chest and watched him. 

"Be careful," she said.

Ronan narrowed his eyes at her. They ate cereal together and Ronan thought of Adam and Cabeswater and magic. He pulled out his phone and sent a text. A few minutes later it lit up and buzzed.

Orla: Come over. Bring your kid.

**Author's Note:**

> this one was light. i'm lion--ness on tumble. i write books too, if you're interested. comments make my actual publishing career seem less stressful so everyone's kind words have been appreciated.


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